I ran across this article that I honestly thought was on some gay humor website, but when I looked at the web address, I noticed it was from Christwire.org. But even then, I just thought the addy was a joke. You know, it's nearly impossible to tell sarcasm over the internet. Then I checked out the mission statement on christwire:
But alas, the Left Wing Conspiracy and Liberal Agenda is spreading like a plague not only through our fine society, but through lesser cultures as well. Their sinful antics and attempt to pass off their wanton carnal desires into mainstream culture is destroying society and mankind.
So this article isn't a joke! The Golds Girls: How One TV Show Turned Generations of American Boys Into Homosexuals
Too lazy to read the several page article?... let me give you some highlights:
Many studies have been done on why the gays love The Golden Girls, but science can’t fathom the moral challenges and social upheaval of those historic times. The 1980s was an epoch of President Reagan’s manly wisdom and the terrifying threat of Cold War annihilation. America had sobered up from the flashy lights of 1970s disco. We were skipping all night cocaine and sex parties to focus on our careers. Spiritual leaders like Jerry Falwell were telling us that Christianity was in the majority again. On the other side, there was a subculture of homosexuality creeping up on our youths. It gave them an excuse to wear tight jeans and to sneak off to public parks for quick releases with hairy men of different ethnicities.
Let's look at "Many studies" first. The link should lead here instead. Where author Jim Colucci is selling his fabulous book about many behind the scenes stories from Golden Girls. Wow, one book equals so many studies (and the study is a basically glorified wiki, that just happens to have a gay spin). And the "gays love" link leads to list on a gay blog. Not a scientific study, just a list.
Cold War annihilation aside, the author of this article Stephenson Billings, seems to just shovel one stereotype after another down our throat! Cocaine? Sex Parties? Tight Jeans? Hairy Men?
And the "homosexuality" link? That leads to a gay blogger who covers LGBT news.
But let's get past the third paragraph. Later on Billings says:
Our horny, lonely boys sought out intimate comforts with likeminded Golden Girls addicts who didn’t mind each other’s theatrical voices and touch-feely hand gestures. Together, these clusters of awkward teens and twentysomethings bonded over their favorite episodes and characters, mimicking the voices and gowns of their tv friends. When the rush of cheesecake and gabfests wore thin, these hairless boys needed a harder thrill. They were so desperate for the next big trend they turned to same-sex sexual experimentation. What woman would have them now, anyway? This led to the worse excesses of early homosexual visibility– the most enormous of drag queens, the dirtiest of leather daddies, the most enticing of twinkie boys, androgyny, overeating, public sex and the birth of “camp.”
A: I think "camp" was around for decades before the Golden Girls.
B: Where's the evidence that "when the rush of cheesecake and gabfests wore thin, these hairless boys needed a harder thrill"? I mean, just because I bond with one person over one TV show, doesn't mean that when the talk of the TV show is over I'll go have sex with the guy.
Billings goes on to talk about how each of the three leads can be found in the gay society.
Of Dorothy he writes: Dorothy has given them [gay men] permission to be two-faced. Because only gay men can be two-faced.
According to Billings Blanche has set a time limit on gay relationships by: Most gay relationships last a week. It is no coincidence that this is the amount of time between Golden Girl episodes when they first aired on primetime. Blanche’s appearances on the show taught today’s 30-something homosexuals that you need a new strange man on your arm every seven days or else your viewers/friends will lose interest in your life’s plot.
Where's the link this time? I know many straight relationships that only last a week. Why not blame F-R-I-E-N-D-S for the same thing with straight relationships. How many girls did Joey bring home?
About Rose Billings says: Senility is not at all funny, but the careless creators of this awfulness used her stupidity for a relentless barrage of immature jokes. Once again, Rose’s most salient trait was picked up and celebrated by the gay community.
Here we go again, of all the senile people I know, they are Straight! They are Christian! They are closed minded bastards who look at one tiny aspect of a tiny fraction of a community.
By the end of the article Billings is just talking out his ass, spouting Right-wing reteric:
Will they [retired gay men] follow in the lusty steps of their forebears, the Golden Girls? When all these gays are in such close proximity to each other, will we see a huge upsurge in illicit homosexual elderly trysts? Will they vote out Florida’s married Christian Republican leaders, like Governor Charlie Crist? Will they embrace any and every cutting edge social issue that will be hip in 2020? Personally, I do not look forward to the day when we’re having moral debates about robot sex, gay jetpacks or houseplant marriage.
I don't even know how to respond to that! That's just random words put together to make some sense. It's as if Billings were writing in a foreign language and used a bad translator. The words make sense but seem out of place. GAY JETPACKS? HOUSEPLANT MARRIAGE!!!!!
The Golden Girls is a powerful comedy that was a hit in its time and has transcended the '80s. I can't believe that anyone could blame a television show for making someone gay, and on such weak arguments that we were/are trying to emulate these vague caricatures that can be found on every single television sit-com! I could say that playing/watching football made me gay. All those showers after practice, the tight bodies. And the ass slapping is what lends itself for the gay community to embrace BDSM!
Let's face it, Billings has his Christian agenda and wants to hit us in pop culutre. Most of his blogs are about television or the internet, and many have gay-bashing language and un-queer friendly dialogues.
