Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Does college play a role in date-ability?

So I came across this article on my friends facebook Marriage eludes high-achieving black women. The title gives you a great synopsis of the article: Educated Black women are staying single longer (or forever) and/or not birthing children because of the lack of educated Black men (not that Black women only marry Black men, but the argument is that this is one factor in the article - "black women... comprise 71 percent of black graduate students" Brian Alexander finds in a census study).

I completely understand the idea of marrying in your same educational level. When I really started dating, I've got to say, when I found out a guy didn't finish/attend college, the date was over for me. (One time the date ended when he told me he didn't have a driver's license - it would have been fine not to have a car, but no license!). 

I do tend to find the more educated to be more attractive (someone can be bumped up from a 5 to a 7 just by studying for his PhD!).

I know an advanced degree doesn't mean intelligence. And when I discovered one of the reasons for my "elitism" I was shocked with myself! It's class-ism! In today's society people of our age (mid 20's +) go/went to college - it was a given. But I went to a tier two school because my parents had money (well the availability to borrow the money). But if my parents hadn't had the money... state school here I come. But if I were from a lower economic status, I might not have been able to go anywhere... work force here I come!

So I was appalled with myself when I put two and two together. And although I'm conscious of this fact and try not to let advanced degree play into the factor of date-ability, it does.

I don't know the solution to this problem (neither the struggle of the educated Black woman to find love nor my perplexing classist view of higher learning), but I do know that this is something I struggle with and can empathize with the Black women in the study.

1 comment:

Braveheart said...

Wow! Thom, very well said. Now that I think about it, I think many of us are educational classists when it comes to dating. And I believe it's fair because, today, people can control their education. You don't have to have money, just a credit score to give you access to it. You don't have to be super intelligent, just have to be a critical thinker with the right attitude towards education to get an advanced degree.

I'm so used to being the victim, as a black woman, that I forget other people have issues too.